L'eggo My Ego [ee-go] – The Pangs of Individuality

 

“Jester”, by InfiniteFiend

Prosopopoeia, noun, a figure of speech in which an abstract thing is personified

“Your own self is your own mainstay, for who else could your mainstay be?” Excerpt taken from Dhp 160

What is the ego? Without specifically defining it in light of any teacher, the impression I am left with is that it is an abstract personification of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that do not meet an ideal of self. When examined in this way, however, the same applies to our cultural heritage --- if you fail to behave, think, or exhibit emotions correctly you are weird, gay, rejected, etc. and thus an ideal of self is not meant. This tends to generate an attitude of aggression towards these qualities. Bearing these things in mind in regards to the question of the ego I see a deeper question of individuality --- what is the individual to do with individuality?

To start, when approaching the concept of the ego we will first need to examine the underlining attitudes these assumptions are operating under. A few of these assumptions are as follows:

1. Individual qualities are dualistic (good versus evil).
2. Because qualities are dualistic they are to be identified with.
3. Because qualities are identifiable the evil qualities of mind that do not fit an ideal of self (Christ consciousness, Buddha-nature, trueself, etc.) have an identity of their own (ego, carnal-nature, etc.)
4. The aspiration is to realize a higher identity and eradicate the lower identity.

Are these assumptions appropriate? What is skillful here is the virtue of pursuing wholesome qualities, but where it leads is often to suppression and / or rejection. Drawing from my personal experiences, in both Christian and post-Christian romanticism, no matter if the belief was inherent evil or purity unskillful characteristics persisted. I denied, suppressed, “remained true” to the belief(s), but only a “partial” healing was ever realized. The attitude here tends to be one of annihilation and (passive)-aggressiveness; that these ego-characteristics need to be eradicated. How can we ever expect to find everlasting peace with a warrior’s attitude?

“That’s the thing about pain. It demands to be felt.” - The Fault in Our Stars, by John Green

1. How am I perceiving my individuality?

This is where I want to point out the role perception has to play in our relationship with individuality. Every concept of ego that I have encountered thus far does not operate to a standard of honest inquiry that I hold to and encourage. What if anger, disappointment, depression, pride, etc. are viewed as pain instead of ego? If I must live a life of denying my pain, then it is a life of denial and not one of complete honesty. And thus the question I want to ask is “what is my relationship with my pain” and “what am I bringing to it”? If my attitude is that it is egoic, carnal, evil, etc. then my relationship is with it is that it is coming at me, but is it? Or, worse, that I deserve punishment for it? Regardless of my attitude as an individual pain is undeniably a part of my individual experience. These are things we individually have developed and awareness of them is only the beginning.

2. What are my perceptions intending (causing) me to do with individuality?

Next, our perceptions influence our intentions. If I tend to my pain as a warrior I am inevitably cutoff from it and it deteriorates into a never ceasing drama of existence. Instead of waking up we are exerting effort in suppressing objects of our experience and in doing so clip our wings to liberation.  If this is a journey of awakening why am I not allowing myself to feel? It is not an ego that we have developed, but habits and states of mind. And these things are something we can work with, apply antidotes to, and learn from. The intention that I am encouraging here is one that is engaged upon pain as an object of awakening. What effort is being applied? Suppression? Understanding? Apathy? What am I doing here?

3. A path of compassion.

I have poised several questions and here I want to encourage an attitude of compassion. This is a baseline, a starting point, but its an attitude that will take us into healing, rather than destroying pain. The approach of compassion is one of listening or directly experiencing the pain firsthand --- generating a warm gaze toward unskillful characteristics. Being an observer or listener to the pain rather than being the afflicted. Here we can be like an admirer of abstract art who asks the question: “what is the artist (the pain) trying to say?” And we can only know that answer by directly experiencing and contemplating the experience --- rather than pushing it away. Through understanding the pain it is possible to apply an antidote that results in meaningful healing instead of the “bliss” of ignorance and denial.

In conclusion, unskillful qualities, or pain, are a part of individuality and we have a choice to arm ourselves as a warrior against them or tend to it as a mother would an infant. It is important to understand how it is we are perceiving experience, how perceptions are influencing our intentions, and how we can change these things. Most importantly, every aspect of individuality, our pain (“ego”), deserves our compassionate gaze and genuinely learn from the pain firsthand so that we can apply an effort worth exerting. All of this requires being completely sensitive to our individual experience, rather than trying to fit it to a pre-conceived notion of how it “should be”. As creative entities it is important to be mindful of what it is we are bringing to this present moment and expand upon what we learn.

Shifts in Consciousness

"Mind Molecular Congruence" by justinbonnet

Listen to The HumanExperience - “Transformation” before reading.

“In using art as a tool for transformation we have the opportunity to create a reality that is beautiful, healthy and strong as our imagination permits.”

“What one intends, and what one plans, and whatever one has a tendency towards: this becomes the maintenance of consciousness. When there is a basis there is a support for the establishing of consciousness. When consciousness is established and has come to growth, there is the production of future renewed existence.” - Intention Discourse, Cetanā Sutta, SN 12.38

Main Points

• Euphoric experiences due not infer a truthful status
• Shifts in conscious are a result of a change of views affecting conscious experience.
• Views are the energy of the spiritual path

Have you experienced the release of new beliefs in light of the old? In the excitement over letting go of repressive mindsets, which is a growing trend in Western spirituality, the phrase “shifts in consciousness” has been popularized and promoted. Characteristics of this event follow general spiritualistic understanding of sainthood, Buddhahood, enlightenment, etc. and overall sense of expansive and interconnected energies. Despite the potential for these things to occur, as it concerns our conversation on consciousness I have a different take worth considering. In the following I will offer a fresh perspective on shifts in consciousness via exploring the causal relationship views have upon the body, how views affect conscious experience, and provide a relatable example.

“I am of the opinion that shifts in consciousness are a regular part of the spiritual life...”

The first factor for our discussion is the mind-body relationship. According to Buddhist dependent origination a higher order process to consciousness is what is known as “sankhara”; properly translated as “volitional formations” or psychological conditioning. For ease of conversation we will refer to them as “views” (note: views will be held synonymous with beliefs). Western spirituality is evolving away from former oppressive religious ideals and it is of the utmost importance to bring to light how the body can respond to shifts in views. Typically these former views contain disdain for self, body, unbelievers, etc. and as a person changes their mind (which is the true meaning of 'to repent') the foreground of the mind is noticeably different. Due to the polarity of these beliefs the effects upon the mind are quite profound and will be felt in the body (tranquilizing or even euphoric). The euphoric experience do not infer truth or enlightenment, however upon this point we can better understand what shifts in consciousness empirically means. Valid experiences are occurring, but how many are taking the time to understand them?

"Vitis Animae" by beaudeeley

In the quote at the beginning of the article we see that the Buddha reveals that consciousness is established and maintained by intention (views), which can renew existence. It is not unusual to mistake renewed experience due to more wholesome views and mistake them for permanent change or identify with the experience as a “truer self”. Here we are experiencing the dynamic relationship that sankhara has with conscious experience. As views change so will our perceptions (cognition) establish itself in a new or renewed pattern. In other words, volitional formations are the filters that interpret moments of cognition. These are similar to the “born again experiences” as it does renew our existence even if the stream of mind was not disrupted by literal death. These, however, do not infer an enlightened experience.

Think of sankhara's as DNA and consciousness as the seed. Hidden, complex, and coded the DNA is the underwriting that establishes the characteristics of seedhood. As the right conditions continue to persist the DNA also underwrites how and what the germinating seed will become. If the existence of the seed was as malleable as the mind (arguably over millions of years and with the right conditions it is) if the DNA changes, so will the progress of its existence. As it concerns “shifts in consciousness” it works in the same way because sankhara's are the underwriting for conscious experience. If there is a change in perspective, so will consciousness shift. Our views are the energy of our spiritual path they renew or degrade the spiritual experience as things change, in contrast to iterating and reiterating packaged spirituality it has more potential to be a progressive, personally engaged journey.

What are shifts in consciousness? They are the changes of mind (views) both the Buddha and Christ taught and as volition changes so does our conscious experience. It is easy to mistake renewed existences from these changes for something more than they really are (conditioned phenomena). I am of the opinion that shifts in consciousness are a regular part of the spiritual life and should not be emphasized any more than a mechanic's relationship with a wrench (it is just a tool). I, of course, strongly encourage utilizing views as an integral part of meditation and daily living to promote inner peace and wholesome interactions.

The Correlation of Honesty and Truth-Reality

Amiss my ponderings this morning I realized a direct correlation between the level of genuine honesty and reality (truth). Let me first disclose that I recognize the words for truth and reality as interchangeable (synonymous). Bearing this in mind, I view “truth” in terms of what is or things as they are – hence my preference for the word reality. If we reflect upon what is required of conventional belief, which I refute is not “belief”, it demands our subscription. A “truth” statement is declared absolutely and all others null and thus conventional belief I will define as subscription. However, upon further examination of what occurs between the subscription and mind it will be seen that the practitioner no longer becomes interested in truth; despite the motive behind subscription is the quest for truth (happiness). 

Subscription of absolute dictations require of the mind a strict adherence that betrays honesty, for if truth later reveals itself it will be rejected because of the conditions and contexts that the subscriptions mandate. Practically speaking, the primary concern with subscription it requires of its practitioner dishonesty (rejecting doubt, questions, and reality). This dishonesty further incapacitates this person’s ability to see things as they are which leads one into a state of addiction.   

I use the word addiction because subscription incorrectly facilitates the idea that its dictates are happiness, however if they do not exist in and rejects reality (things as they are, truth) it is delusion. Again, the erroneous behavior may include the torture of doubt and faith (doubt consistently being rejected), paranoia, hostile / hurtful interactions towards one’s self (for doubting) or peers, and/or anxiety. What is interesting is these behaviors center around rejection, hence why I keep using the word subscription for conventional belief because without it the process begins to fall apart. 

Subscription is not limited to evangelism, it may come in form of patriotism, mental disorders, etc. as they all require strict adherence to certain views regardless if they mesh with things as they are. Most of these examples function as the opposite of abiding in reality because they start with fear and end as a refutation (rejection). Followed by life in addiction is constant denial (rejection) of the idea that the view they are subscribed to is not ending in the happiness they think it is bringing them. Thus enters honesty. 

Regardless where we are “spiritually”, our path becomes more properly aligned when we are first honest with ourselves. Practically speaking, beliefs are more or less views the mind utilizes for the pursuit of “happiness” – mostly as escapes from reality. And if we allow for our doubt (wisdom) to teach us beyond our rejection a moment of honesty can dawn: “This isn’t working”. And so we see the first step to the end of the addiction. Honesty begins to dismantle subscription, which takes time and patience. Dealing with addiction requires its opposite proponent of honesty and the cognitive dissonance it promotes can act as an enabler against liberation (recovery). Honesty reveals the inconsistencies of our views (subscriptions) and without them as a familiar anchor we can be rapt in fear of the unknown.  Cognitive dissonance is a precursor to something new, if it is allowed to run its course. 

We seek mental harmony, or consistency, because of the familiarity it offers – even if the perceived mental harmony results in participating in the addiction. Through our rejection of reality we become inattentive to our condition and symptoms of our addiction. Through this inattention a full belief that the addiction is helpful, without much knowledge of its damages, can and will manifest. Recognition of the addiction, although a brief moment of honesty, will not stop the process of subscription (enchantment). Although we may recognize our issues, our habitual rejection will continue onward beyond the glimpse of the issue. Fixation upon symptoms, rather than the heart can manifest. 

When dealing with the process of subscription disenchantment occurs over a period of time with attention to its conditions. Processes are condition dependent and without insight into these conditions inner transformation is difficult to impossible. Transformation occurs by being mindfully absorbed in the reality of our afflictions, which is the opposite function of subscription (being unmindful) and how we are culturally raised. Being mindfully absorbed requires the honesty subscription detests because of the doubt it reveals. Doubt and honesty are opposite functions the subscription operates within. 

The other proponent that being mindfully absorbed in the addiction is the temporary disruption to its process can give a glimpse of liberation. These glimpses begin the process of transformation (recovery). This process requires doubt, honesty, stillness, and mindful absorption into the reality of the conditions of the process of subscription and its addictions. The process of purification often brings out the fear of the unknown, for the mind is unfamiliar with life without its former beliefs (limitations). As part of the path to truth we learn of a new faith, without conditions, and that is a faith the rests in not knowing (true to faith’s common definition). Faith does not know. Grasping for knowledge (conceptual notions) of this new life may replace one subscription set for another. And the uncertainty may seem worse than the certainty of current belief modes. 

However, this neurotic behavior is a function of addiction. Subscription creates the façade of knowing the unknowable – a model of reality. Ironically, since the addiction does not participate in reality it still functions in “not knowing”, but is not mindful and ignores this. Being mindful of the uncertainty and the resultant processes it brings is key. If we are honest, even the “certainty” we think current belief sets offer is still centered upon not knowing. Resting in (embracing) the unknown begins to untie us from the anchor, the reference in which we erroneously use, of our current mental paradigms – hence the term “letting go”. 

Letting go comes with resting (having faith) in not knowing and in doing so unanchors the mind. This liberation comes with infinite possibility, instead of only what the addiction previously had to offer, which is a mere limitation and imitation of “truth”. What remains true through this process of liberation (recovery) is honesty. It begins with a moment of: “this is not working”, continues in honest awareness (regardless of our current condition), being honest with our fears, being honest with the idea of not knowing, finally this honesty fosters a transformation that brings the mind from limitations to infinite possibility – unto freedom.